I  hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas, or whatever you celebrate if it's not Christmas :)

I feel a bit better from before but I'm still not in the Christmas mood.  December has probably been the worst month so far with my random bouts of depression, their not that bad though.

I guess though I realized why I've been depressed all month, you see it was on Christmas Eve last year when grandma fell down.  I mean she has fallen down before but ever since then she's been bed ridden.
It's a mixture of she can't walk and she won't walk.  She's just too scared too, but she honestly is strong.  But it's been a year so I doubt she'll walk again.

Ah well hopefully when everyone comes over I'll be happier.  It's 2:34 AM right now as I'm typing this.  On Christmas day.  I need to wrap my nephews presents.  I'll do it before I go to bed, if I go to bed.

I usually sleep during the day and the afternoon instead of night time so...

Here's a batch of Disney icons I made yesterday.  Also if anyone wants me to make Princess and the Frog icons just direct me to some good pics, I really want to see that movie.  It looks so pretty and Tiana I think the girl's name?  She seems pretty cool too. I tried doing that icon table generator thing and it didn't work, how come?

Preview:
( When You Wish Upon a Star-DISNEY WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL! )

Well not new for some of you but I really should post stuff in my journal more often. ( Poland says Liek OMG it's liek that big ol meanie Alucard and omg a Yoshi and a Coco? )

Sorry for the last weird entry. I did it for the lulz partially. And 'cause someone was being emo. So many lulz were had.

SO HOW IS EVERYONE? I hope everyone is well and shall have a wonderful Christmas. I think I know what to get Eli now. The Phineas and Ferb CD, he may be two but he loves music and loves that show and it's music most of all. If I can't find an actual CD I'll just burn one for him.

MIZU YOUR MY FRIEND I LOVE YOU. SO I HOPE YOU MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS IN THE END BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. REMEMBER THAT WHILE THE WORLD CAN BE AN UNFAIR PLACE IT CAN ALSO BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING AS WELL. You can only make your own happiness, I can't control you, while it'd be easier to put you in the box of safty I cannot. I hope you find real love, real friends(in the outside 'neto life) and you just make your life better. You can laugh, you can be pissed at me. But that's how I feel. You can say OH I FEEL NOTHING or whatever. You can be emo you can be uh sad which is like emo but with less girl pants. But listen. Seriously. No matter how much you push me away, even if I get into a fight with you and it seems like I'm pissed and hate you, I don't. Well I'm probably pissed, but I'm a woman, I get pissed more easily when I'm on the monthly curse. But I care about you. So I say go ahead and try to push me away. I take that challenge! You can continue to piss me off and say hurtful things to me and yes I'll get pissed, I might even say I hate you once or twice, but you know what? I won't mean it, and go to you a little later saying sorry. Because I'm too much of a bleeding heart and your important to me, and I'm honestly only human and you are too. So go ahead. You ain't getting rid of me that easily. Were all a part of the great mother fucking circle of life and I'm in there with you, just like the others are. Life is tough, but you are what you are and you are what you make yourself out to be. And none of that probably made sense so I'll end in a corny way. MIZUUUUU WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?! BELIEVE IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU! WE ARE ONE! A PART OF THE GREAT CIRCLE OF LIFE!

Live in my house,
I'll be your shelter,
Just pay me back
WIth one thousand kisses
Be my lover
and I'll cover you

Open your door,
I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there and I'll cover you

I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are my love, on life
Be my life


Just slip me on,
I'll be your blanket
Wherever,whatever, I'll be your coat

I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are my love, on life
All my life

I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is

So with a thousand sweet kisses,I'll cover you
, With a thousand sweet kisses,I'll cover you,
When you're worn out and
tired,When your heart has expired

If you're cold and you're lonely
You've got one nickel only
With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you,
With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you

Sorry to those who had to deal with the sparkle text xD

But yes. Mizu I may only know you online but you are my friend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvvLMXYP55k
^Just watch from 1:56 to the end, as the beginning is just her talking

So I was telling the new member on EXO, who is pretty cool by the way, a bit more about my life and he told me that he'd probably need a cast of characters of all my family members and whoever else I said 'cause every time I told him something I usually told him about new people or he'd forget. So I said 'kay! And I wrote him out a long one and posted it there. I figured for the sake of understanding me a bit better I'd post it here. It's a big wally of text though so keep that in mind, and I commend you for reading it!


( Long posts are long )

Uhm so yeah I was at the hospital, it's been a while since then but I've mostly just been resting and busy with family stuff. I mean I rarely post on here anyways right lol? I should try to post some of my works too. But I'm kinda tired so you'll get the old post I put on another site from right when I got out of the 'hospital' okay?

Here it is:


So yeah if anyone was wondering, I was at the hospital about 2 weeks ago. For a day or too. Then I was secretly transported to my aunt's house for rest and stuff. The doctor said that he wasn't going to let me go home once he found out that I take care of grandma and when my aunt told him how Joni acts. He was honestly worried that I'd collapse and well you know...

What did I have? A mixture of pnemonia, the flu, a cold and a urinary tract infection. I was sick for practically a week before and it just kept getting worse, so my aunt took me to the doctors and I thought "Well okay I'll get some medicine and that's that" and I had to put a rag over my mouth because I was throwing up and dry heaving that whole day.

I was so weak and couldn't walk strait so they got me a wheelechair. To my suprise the doctor says I need to go to the hospital because he thought I had pnemonia and it'd be better and cheaper for us to get xrays at the hospital then there(wow an honest doctor!)

So yeah, my vitals or whatever were either too high or too low. My oxygen was low and I had to be put on well oxygen. I had IV's in me cause I hadn't eaten in a couple of days and I was severly dehydrated. They kept poking me with needles cause it was hard to find veins when I was dehydrated but the bruises are finally healing.

I still feel sick, but I'm much better. While I was gone my brother John helped out and now he completely believes me when I told him how Joni and Anthony acts, mainly Joni. He has a new appreciation for my job and I xD

I did 'get out of the hospital for a day' yesterday. My mom did that once(for real)so they bought it. It was my youngest nephew's birthday yesterday and they had the party at my house. He's two now and the boys had the swine flu and just got over it. Tyler kept crying for me and Eli too. Then when they started getting better and coming over they'd run to my room and look for me. Tyler even said "I'm gonna tell the doctor to let her come home NOW."

I can eat now but I still don't have a normal appetite back now. Now that I'm home I'm going to start eating healthy and exercising more. I...I hated it, even though I wasn't in the hospital for that long. It was awful and embarrassing at times. I cried almost every day even when I was at my aunt's house. My grandma cried every day I wasn't there. When I did call her(from my aunt's cell as to not arise suspicion)she'd cry and tell me she wanted me home and that she loved me.

We did tell her the last week where I really was. She wasn't mad but glad I was in a safe place getting better.

But wow I'm home. I don't think I've ever felt this happy in a long time. I'm home.

Oh well yesterday before the party my aunt took me to the mall and I got Dragon Age Origins, Sonic games for the computer(it was cheap so hush), A Boy and His Blob and Drawn to Life ont he Wii. Couple days before that my aunt got my reserved copy of Animal Parade for me. Haven't played any of them, it's weird. I still feel sick and overall kind of out of it and weird even when I type. But I think that's normal.

Oh and get this, I saw the new Twilight movie last night, when my sister was taking me back to my aunt's place(It was Nicole who took me home)she asked if I wanted to go to the movies and asked my aunt too. I hate Twilight but I hadn't been out in forever and to the movies too.

It was.

It was better then the first movie which I was also forced to watch I'll admit.

BUT OH GOD IT WAS SO FUNNY.


SPOILERS MAY START HERE

I think I just showed my not exactly hating anti side but my Satirical side. I can see why girls(and guys too)like it. But it's...Boring, the action was boring and there are/is some good acting in it. But not by Bella and Edward's actors. Which is sad cause I don't think RPatt(Edward)is a bad actor, you should have seen when they showed a trailer of his new movie during the previews all the girls screamed how they needed to see it.

Ohwow. Yeah there were a lot of OOOOH OH MY HOOOOT and stuff in the theatres. And I nearly fell over after the movie when my sister's boyfriend(Scott he's a cool guy, he's gonna mod my game systems for me~)was saying something to my sister and she responded "Well there was action" and he said if I recall something like "Yeah chick action" or something that made me laugh so hard.

I told him before the movie that I was the only man in the car(I'm actually a girl for those who don't know)and I couldn't believe he was going to see this movie, and he didn't actually believe how chicky this movie was. The parts where Edward and Bella almost died/got caught/etc I was like smiling so much. And the part after Edward leaves her and she's just sitting there in the chair and it shows months have passed I thought "OH GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE THE REST OF THE MOVIE OVER AND OVER AND OVER" And I couldn't help but laughing there.

END SPOILERS

Not only that but after the movie the girls bathroom was full like usual, there was a line but I think everyone in there? Came from the Twilight movie.


ANYWAYS I MISSED YOU ALL. It's been kinda hard being home but I'll suck it up. But if Joni pushes me too far I push her into a ditch, or tell my aunt.


====

Kay that's all.

But no srsly Joni's getting worse. For the past couple days though she's been staying with mom and them under the guise of her taking a break and spending time with her kids and she's already bitching she wants to come back, she don't get paid my other sister and mom are bothering her blah blah. She barely does anything and bitches when she does so she don't deserve to get paid. Not to mention she'll always ask me for money and if I don't give it to her she treats me like trash, which she always does(her reasoning changes why she does it each time, most the time it's 'i want someone to hurt like me' or 'everyone treats me like shit!' so yeah)but she does it even worse and refuses to help me with my grandma. It pisses me off. So my brother John has been staying a while which is cool, him I get along with.

But since she's bothering me for money she'll insult or threaten me then hang up on me. Yeah she hangs up on people when she's pissed at them. The other day I honestly didn't have money when I told her. I just bought the first season of Dragon Ball and this is what she said "You lying bitch. I guess I'll just have to whore myself out on eight mile to get some money //HANGS UP"

So yeah.

Anyways on to less depressing stuff naoo k thx?

Some newer examples of my work, though you can just see it all on my devianatart but I'll try to post here too O 3 O

( Mah stuffz. Hope the cut worked )

On my deviantart.  Go check it out because posting fake-cuts with images in it sometimes messes up with me xD

I've greatly improved and would like your critique.  On here or there either way.

http://khaos89.deviantart.com/

( If this fake cut doesn't work OHWELL LOL 8D It has examples click it plz )

Yeah more family problems.  Right now it's been about like what an hour sine some shit went down?  I could go into detail about what's wrong with my family and how I had a mental breakdown or damn near it the other day.  But I dunno I don't want to bore you guys with that emo bullshit.  If I get really upset and have no one to talk to like Mids or someone then I'll probably post it on here.  If you still really want to know what happened just ask or if you want to know what happened and you know Mids just ask her 'cause I'm lazy LOL.

But man am I tired.  My computer I think is sort of finally done/fixed.  There's still some problems but nothing like viruses or anything it's something completely different.  I also have to re-install certain things and my poor PSP8 got deleted.  But I now have PSP10/Coral so that's cool I guess.  I need to open that up and start using it soon though.

But it's lik 3 am here and I'm like tired lol.  Grandma got up about 10-20 minutes ago so I can probably go to bed as it won't be at least 7 or 8 am before she wakes up again.

Also I finally started watching some of my anime I never got to watch.  I finally finished the second season of Slayers which I own.  Now onto the third...Tomorrow.

I remember season 2 of Slayers and season 1 of Slayers more then 3.  The only episodes of that I remember basically had Fillia being pissy at Xellos and I think the last episode or two of it.  But that was long ago.  I wiki'd it to find more info about Fillia since I couldn't remember her other then how she was a person with a kind heart and took responsibility for what's his name.  Oh I also remember the furry who hated Lina.  Lol I like him.  Anyways I found out that in this season the person Fillia is most closest with is Lina even though they have their fights.  I thought aaaw that was cute Lina has a new best friend.

Also second season Lord of Nightmares!Lina Inverse is so freaking bad ass.  I was happy I got to re-watch the GourryLina kiss.  I like basically any couplings from Slayers.  But it's nice to see a little romance in the series even though I don't like mainly strictly romantic anime series.  It's good to have balance.  Though that's not always the case as Slayers doesn't have much romance since the poor creator of the anime or series overall admits he doesn't do good with romance parts LOL.

Sides Gourry is pretty cool.  So I like the canon Slayers pairing a lot.  But I also love me some ZelgadisLina and XellosLina.  Speaking of which besides GourryLina, I think that XellosLina is like one of my faves.  I do like yaoi pairings and yuri pairings in here too.  Well more yaoi then yuri since another fave pairing is XellosZelgadis lol.  Xellos overall just rocks.  I just don't have a fave Slayers yuri pairing...Yet.

I need to watch Slayers Revolution or whatever it's called and it's sequel though.
Video game wise I haven't played much as I'm really sick.  I want to be better already ;_;
I do want Persona 2 and Growlanser 1 on PSP thouuuuuugh.  At least Persona 2 is coming out in English if it isn't already out.  Oh well my birthday is coming up so maybe I'll get them.

So how's everyone else doing?  I'm going to sleep now lol.

She was born y-yesterday ♥♥♥

Her name is Marishka Elizabeth Woods, she was 7 pounds and 35 ounces.  I'll be posting pics sometime this week.  You'll even get too see pics of my nephews too.

In fact Tyler is spending the night and before Eli(My youngest nephew) left I spent time with him.  I spent time with Maria/Mimi too.  BTW that's her nicknames, though Marishka MEANS Maria so yeah.  They named her after my grandma and Elizabeth is the name of Phil's Mother.

She's so tiny, you should have seen me I was hogging all the clingy auntie holding you time.  So cute.  I made sure to give her lots of gentle hugs and kisses.  They left to go down south a short while ago sadly.  However I told Judy and Phil they better call all the time and put me on speaker or something so I can talk to her.  Even though she can't speak doesn't mean she can't hear you you know?  I also told them to come visit all the time.  Grandma cried when she saw the tiny little girl.  Tears of happiness.

Judy and Phil are going to do the adoption part now and when they get back down south.  I'm gonna miss her but I will at least make sure she knows my voice growing up if I don't see her a lot. xD

Anyways my aunt is staying with us till like the beginning of next month so it hasn't been too bad.  But the way my sister is acting, specially round her kids, has my aunt thinking and saying she's popping pills/has an addiction and hell she probably does knowing her.

Anyways I'm hungry I should go find some snackaroos.

Also before I go I gotta tell you what my oldest nephew just did.  He's playing Harvest Moon Innocent Life, and he's holding a rokc and he tried to put it in the dog house saying "I'll have a pet rock anyways.  Rocks are good pets" xD

( Baby not here yet D: )

So in ending.
I'm fat.
I'm fat and I'm happy.
I'm fat and I'm hungry.
I need to find some food.

I posted my icons a while back right? Well I sharpened them up. Do they look better? If so I'll repost them in the other communities/edit my original posts.





As you can see I've added 2 more icons.
I've given up on trying to LJ cut icons. It keeps erroring and messing up. So why bother? SIGH.

Yup just an update of some icons I made.
Lol it's fun making icons I lunno why.








Let's see that makes 5 Growlanser ones all together right? Maybe I'll post them to the Grow community now.

I feel bad about making one of them since I can't remember where I got the art. It's from one of the Japanese Growlanser sites.
So Negi and the others having been helping me with my graphics, eventually I shall start making more/better effects and siggies but for now let's start off slow k?



Wolfgang is awesome though~
Making that icon has inspired me, maybe I'll finally get one chapter of that Growlanser AU done. xD
Once I make more Grow ones I'll post them in the community.
Also I dun know how to lj cut icons. It doesn't seem to work :/

So if anyone who actually reads what I type notices I deleted my other entries/blah.

Looking back on my old entries makes me feel so embarrassed. Considering I started this when I didn't know how to write, use grammar properly, and was a bit of a drama HOSE. Yes hose. That's like my new favorite saying instead of DRAMA HO or DRAMA WHORE. Specially since your around a baby you gotta be careful what you say.

Anyways I'm mostly busy taking care of my baby nephew and my grandma.
And I never leave the house, so all I can do is watch tv, or movies or anime or anything else. Also I play video games all the time and live on the computer.

I HAZ NO LIFE YAAAY.

Sad but I'm used to it.

Anyways the first Growlanser game is being remade onto the PSP as well as the first Persona game. I'm totally gonna import those when they come out. Anyone else. I might have an idea who might import the Growlanser one. You know who you are xD